Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Just sitting here, controlling my tongue.

You want to know what sucks? When one pulls waaaaaayyyyy back on blogging because one has waaaaaayyyyy too much to say.

Yep, that is where I have been. Controlling my tongue. Go figure. Me. Controlling my tongue.

Controlling my tongue about what, you ask?

I can emphatically say that the past six months have been the most mentally draining of this thing called parenting. Those toddler years may have been physically exhausting, but in the toddler years, as a parent, you still are in control of 99% of your child's surroundings. Teen years? Not so much.

At 39 years old, when I pretty much have the psychological aspects of middle school drama down, there is unfortunately nothing I can do about "fixing" the middle school chaos in my daughter's life. Drives me nuts. 

It is GRUELING to have your own horrible memories of middle school come back to haunt you through your child's own experiences... at an age when you CAN do something about it, there is NOTHING you can do about it.

If I was able to go back in time, knowing what I know now, I would OWN my middle school years.

One day, I am sure Audrey will say the same. But for now, she has to live it out to learn and, hopefully, grow from it.

And, while she is doing that, I have to sit on my hands and swallow my words, or else we would have some middle schoolers running around this town hiding from me.  Some already do. You know who you are. Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha... manical laugh... maniacal laugh...

Seriously thankful today for friends and an ultra-uber-non-confrontational husband who have kept me and my trap [somewhat] controlled for the past few months.

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