Lost.

I am currently reading "The Lost Girls", which is a travel memoir of three women in their late twenties.

Amanda, Jen and Holly left behind successful jobs, boyfriends and friends in Manhattan to embark on a year long journey around the world. The book is their story, written from each of the girls' perspectives.

The minute I picked up the book, it started me thinking about my own life...

I am not a risk taker, and I have *always* allowed myself to be pigeon-holed into whatever is supposed to come next in life.

Out of high school, of course I went on to college... which meant I eventually had to major in something. I graduated in four years, and I had three different declared majors in those four years. My final decision was made, sitting cross-legged, in the hallway of my dorm, course catalog open, literally pointing my finger at random at a page and voila! Major chosen.

With the exception of my husband, there is no way on earth that any twenty year old knows what he/she wants to do for the rest of his/her life.

I went on to grad school, and beyond that, all early adult milestones were met right on schedule.

I now am happily married with three wonderful children and two dogs. We are financially stable, living in suburbia with a finely manicured lawn. I have worked at the same company for twelve years. We are living the American dream, which is awesome. Seriously. I love my very comfortable life, and I understand that, especially today, I should have no feeling towards it other than gratitude.

:::yawn:::

At times, I wish I would have realized along the way that me, Matt, the kids and the dogs could be a bunch of gringos living in Costa Rica, for example, selling beer and recreational equipment on the beach. People *need* that stuff, you know.

Don't worry... it is just the middle age crisis talking. And, it is hitting me like a bunch of bricks that Audrey is only four years away from having to make some serious life decisions.  

ONLY FOUR YEARS. Let's face it. It is less than four years.

I feel it is so important for Matt and I to be cognizant of not boxing Audrey into any path - intentionally or unintentionally. I want her to responsibily ask "Why not?" with any opportunities that come her way instead of doing what she *thinks* she should do based on what she knows and has seen growing up. I don't want fear  - her own or the fear that others show - to hold her back... not in a hey-you-can-be-President-of-the-United-States-one-day kind of way... but in a find-and-follow-your-passion kind of way.  

Or else she is going to be a 40 year old lost girl.

How in the eff did I get to be {almost} 40?