Friday, June 1, 2012

Lost.

I am currently reading "The Lost Girls", which is a travel memoir of three women in their late twenties.

Amanda, Jen and Holly left behind successful jobs, boyfriends and friends in Manhattan to embark on a year long journey around the world. The book is their story, written from each of the girls' perspectives.

The minute I picked up the book, it started me thinking about my own life...

I am not a risk taker, and I have *always* allowed myself to be pigeon-holed into whatever is supposed to come next in life.

Out of high school, of course I went on to college... which meant I eventually had to major in something. I graduated in four years, and I had three different declared majors in those four years. My final decision was made, sitting cross-legged, in the hallway of my dorm, course catalog open, literally pointing my finger at random at a page and voila! Major chosen.

With the exception of my husband, there is no way on earth that any twenty year old knows what he/she wants to do for the rest of his/her life.

I went on to grad school, and beyond that, all early adult milestones were met right on schedule.

I now am happily married with three wonderful children and two dogs. We are financially stable, living in suburbia with a finely manicured lawn. I have worked at the same company for twelve years. We are living the American dream, which is awesome. Seriously. I love my very comfortable life, and I understand that, especially today, I should have no feeling towards it other than gratitude.

:::yawn:::

At times, I wish I would have realized along the way that me, Matt, the kids and the dogs could be a bunch of gringos living in Costa Rica, for example, selling beer and recreational equipment on the beach. People *need* that stuff, you know.

Don't worry... it is just the middle age crisis talking. And, it is hitting me like a bunch of bricks that Audrey is only four years away from having to make some serious life decisions.  

ONLY FOUR YEARS. Let's face it. It is less than four years.

I feel it is so important for Matt and I to be cognizant of not boxing Audrey into any path - intentionally or unintentionally. I want her to responsibily ask "Why not?" with any opportunities that come her way instead of doing what she *thinks* she should do based on what she knows and has seen growing up. I don't want fear  - her own or the fear that others show - to hold her back... not in a hey-you-can-be-President-of-the-United-States-one-day kind of way... but in a find-and-follow-your-passion kind of way.  

Or else she is going to be a 40 year old lost girl.

How in the eff did I get to be {almost} 40?

1 comment:

  1. Elizabeth RamseyJune 2, 2012 at 4:47 PM

    So true! It's likely I'm an even later bloomer than you and reading Lost Girls made me really wonder what life would have been like if I'd had the confidence at 20 to follow my soul. Like you, not complaining...love the comfort and stability of my life after an *unusual* childhood. But...what if? Fortunately I subscribe to the idea that it is rarely too late and look forward to the 40's and 50's being some of the best years of my life.

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