Monday, February 14, 2011

Setting the record straight

None of you have said it after reading my experience this past weekend as a chaperone at the middle school dance, but for my own peace of mind, I would like to set the record straight about something.

Let me say right here that if you didn't read my post about the dance, you need to before reading on or you will be lost. See link above.

At the end of my post from a couple days ago, I had written that my experience with the goings on in middle school (via the dance) are not unique to our school. They aren't.

Just because they aren't unique doesn't mean I was condoning them. Just because "it" - whether it be inappropriate outfits worn, pilphering from one another, underage drinking, groping and kissing on the dance floor - happens in all middle schools doesn't mean that we, as parents, teachers, principals, community members, etc. should accept it as part of the 'coming of age' process, especially with girls. And just because your child(ren) go to a private school doesn't mean they aren't dealing with the same things.

I have heard it time and time again... Well, that  is the way things are these days... or... That is how girls dress nowadays... bull.

I went shopping with my daughter when she purchased her dress for the dance. I saw many inappropriate outfits being sold; however, I did see age-appropriate ones, as well. This is off topic a bit - but not really... same goes with bikinis. You cannot tell me that your daughter MUST wear a bikini that is the equivalent (if not less) of fabric of a dish rag because that is all that is out there. Pfft. 

Last night, my friend, Domestic Diva Jen, and I were once again pondering the happenings of the dance. She was the one who pulled the dance all together, and she did a fabulous job. Seriously, who would have thunk it that there would be so much tomfoolery going on in the place where we send our children five days a week?

I know how it is (even if I don't have the parental wisdon of those that have come before me who now have grown daughters). Parenting is hard and insisting that your child/daughter go against the cultural grain is very difficult and exhausting. Exhausting. But we can't leave the fostering of modesty and dignity to our daughters because they cannot do it alone.

It seems like such a daunting task - I know that my mind is overwhelmed with the visions in my brain of middle school girls at our high school football games, in addition to what my eyes saw at the dance a couple days ago - but, in the end, it does come down to us... the parents. 

We will have some big changes happening in our house in terms of where Audrey will and will not be allowed to go from here on out - not because we don't trust her, but because we don't want her exposed to things she just absolutely does not need to be exposed to or tempted with before she is even thirteen.

One last thing... my friend, Jen, from above, has started "Girls on the Run" at one of our elementary schools. If you have never heard of it, check it out and see if it is available in your area. If it isn't yet, maybe think about starting a chapter yourself! The program is a great way to promote self respect and healthy living.

My head hurts.

1 comment:

  1. Yowza. No wonder your head hurts. I found your blog via Amy Reinhart. will read more when I have the time. :)