Thursday, June 16, 2011

When tested, I *fail*

Today, yet another humungous expense came in for the White family. I am seriously so tired of being an adult, I could puke. Why our children trust us to care for them, I do not know. I feel no more responsible today than I did when I was 19. Can I get an AMEN?

{If you partake in that AMEN, you better be talking about you and not me.}

The outgoing cash (or shall I say, the increasing amount now on our credit card) has me a real bitch tonight. I am spittin' mad { for the moment } that I cut my time at work in half back in January, which cut my salary in half. Pissed that we joined that pretentious county club { until I am at the pool tomorrow }. And I am fuming that a beat up sucky old Mercedes is in our possession on purpose when *we* should be driving a 10-year old Ford. Stupid Mercedes. { I will always hate you. }

Tonight, you are the cause of my bitchiness. I have had a dry spell, so I guess it was time. Sucks for you.

I announced tonight that we are on a spending freeze. No. More. Crap. That includes beer. { I hope I know what I am doing. Thank goodness there is a supply in the basement. But, Audrey is having an overnight tonight, so you never know how long that stash will last. }

Seriously no more than 30 minutes after the spending freeze was instituted, the sweetest door-to-door sales girl makes herself at home. In my shower. Yes, she did. I have pictures. Next post, I promise.

I was being tested by the big guy upstairs. I just know it. 

Shaniqua - that is what we call her - was selling a cleaning product called "Advanage". No, not "Advantage". That has a 'T' and Advanage does not.

However, whoever printed up their marketing materials, must have thought the website needed a 'T', because it clearly had the website listed as, and Shaniqua had to cross out the T at the front of the web address before she handed us the marketing materials.

She cleaned the garage floor. Took out rust. She grabbed Matt' show and made his soles white again.

She wanted to do a number on the Mercedes in our garage. But, it isn't ours. It's a loaner. Go figure.

Shaniqua went into our shower. It is a problem area for my OCD tendencies. I was less than impressed.

But the rust. The shoe. Advanage repels finger prints. Plus, it is approved by every acronym known to man. And, Shaniqua can raddle every single one of them off. In one breath. All 4 ft. 6 inches of her. She would have driven my Dad crazy with how fast she talked.

She licked the solution off the inside tube of the sprayer. Apparently, it is so safe, you can season your salads with it.

Okay, okay, WE BOUGHT IT. A bottle. We spend $40 on a bottle of cleaning product. But, it lasts forever. Shaniqua told us so.

Plus, she gets commission. We are helping the youth of America, people. Think of the youth.

There you have it. When tested, I fail. Or, I am a sucker. Or both.

{ Since I am helping the youth, it is at least a tax write off? }

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