Monday, August 15, 2011

All sorts of stupid in this house

I wasn't planning on writing tonight. My plan was to veg. Start a new book. Watch the boob-tube. Or, maybe double up on my sleeping meds with the hopes of uninterrupted sleep.

{ Dang it! I started and finished a book and didn't even tell you I was doing it. I started and finished Bossypants by Tina Fey. It was funny. She is awesomely hilarious. The book was too short. You can find out more here. Borrow it if you can because it is a very quick read. }

However, here I sit pondering how to get my six year old to ever trust us again as parents. Um, yea, that's right. He does not. He just told me so.

This past Friday evening, Matt and the boys headed over to our friends' house for a boys' only night. A lovely late summer bonfire was planned, along with a night hike, led by the eldest boy in the group, a very wise up-and-coming sixth grader, his cousin, and my boys, who are in first and fourth grade. Almost.

Led by their friend, into the woods, the boys come upon Stowfoot peaking around a tree.

::: Insert lots of high pitched screams and bolting out of the woods here. :::

And, needless to say, the bedtimes and middles of the night that have followed have never been the same. In fact, we can't even close our eyes to sleep.

Lights on.

Doors closed.

Big pillows surrounding us.

Covers pulled up, all the way over us to shield us from Sasquatch of Stow.

Up until tonight, Matt was responsible for the mayhem he had caused by his complete lack of discretion in my absence (aka stupidity). I filled in for him tonight. ( ::cough:: loser )

Side note, and this could go without saying: I seriously think that someone stole Matt's brain or rendered him unconscious during this whole debacle of throwing my tender six year old into the woods with a dressed up Bigfoot on the loose. WTF? { that stand for 'what the foot?' }

So, here I am begging for your advice on how to make the memories of Stowfoot disappear.

My brain has been mulling over these two options, however, I am sure there are others.
  1.  Drug Ian even evening before bed to make him sleep.
  2.  Stage the murder of Stowfoot in Ian's presence.

Please help, before I plan the untimely death of my husband. HELP, won't you?

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