Rebel in control of my own life

A couple of years ago or so, Matt and I had an epiphany that we really shouldn't care what others think of us. We didn't decide that to go against the grain. We simply came to the realization that we are relatively 'normal' adults, making the best decision(s) we can, and there is no way to please everyone all the time with our decisions, actions or opinions.

While that seems like a healthy way to go about your life, there is always this lingering uncomfort because it seems we aren't able to make decisions for our own lives and family without being labeled as 'rebellious' or 'nonconforming'. And, to be honest, we both are still in the healing process (one of us a bit deeper in the healing process than the other) from a situation where we were labeled as problematic because we didn't conform.

Let me be blunt. I sooooooo dislike conformity for the sake of conformity and comfort. I am an adult, and, whether it is acceptable or not (especially because I am a woman, ey-em), I have a brain and I prefer to use it to make decisions and not to merely follow those in my life like a well-loved dog.

I ran across this list today while blog-surfing. It is a list that Virginia Satir, a family therapist, developed for her clients that were struggling with addictive patterns or codependency issues, and while my own personal situation has nothing to do with addiction, this list is paramount in leading a healthy adult life, and it is crucial for children, especially teenagers, to grasp (for the codependency and addiction issues, especially). 

1. I do not have to feel guilty just because someone else does not like what I do, say, think, or feel.
2. It is OK for me to feel angry and to express it in responsible ways.

3. I do not have to assume full responsibility for making decisions, particularly where others share responsibility for making the decision.
4. I have the right to say, "I don't know."
5. I have the right to say "No," without feeling guilty.
6. I have the right to say "I don't understand," without feeling stupid.
7. I do not have to apologize or give reasons when I say "No."
8. I have the right to ask others to do things for me.
9. I have the right to refuse requests which others make of me.
10. I have the right to tell others when I think they are manipulating, conning or treating me unfairly.
11. I have the right to refuse additional responsibilities without feeling guilty.
12. I have the right to { respectfully }  tell others when their behavior annoys me. ( ' Respectfully ' added by AW )
13. I do not have to compromise my personal integrity.
14. I have the right to make mistakes and to be responsible for them; I have the right to be wrong.
15. I do not have to be liked, admired, or respected by everyone for everything I do.

From toddlers to grandparents, from supervisors to pastors.... We all like and enjoy control. After all, when control is involved, there is always something at stake.

For those of you that like to control others, there are a few items on that list that likely jumped out at you. For those of you that seem to always be controlled by others, in one way or another, there were likely many that caught your attention.  

#7, #10, #11 and #15 hit home for me. Who am I kidding... there were many more, but I figured I would narrow it to four.

What about you?  

Spring fever

Last night, the boys made these lanterns to hang from their ceilings. Apparently, they are clairvoyant and knew it was going to *snow* today, so the need for outdoor lanterns is still a pipe dream.

Today, after school, they created an art gallery in Ian's bedroom.

It is SO time to get outside to play. The re-arranging, paper cutting, etc. is driving me nuts! Now, Isaac would like to paint his bedroom to finish off his renovation.

My nights, Part 2

Remember how I wrote about my horrible night sweats? I had many of you write to me to tell me that you, too, have them... and there was a common thread...

Nope, not our age. But the happy pill you and I are taking... Zoloft.

In the past, my family physician always thought Zoloft could no way be causing my night sweats because I am on such a low dose. (Yes, I am.) But this time, I flat out told her to write me a Rx for something else that would make me happy (and most importantly, keep me happy).

It worked.

I still am happy. I still have very mild night sweats. But, I am not soaked, and it doesn't happen every night anymore.

If you happen to be one of those that emailed or DM'd me on Facebook, and you, too, are on Zoloft, or any seratonin-uptake drug, try switching to see what happens. My physician said that there isn't one that definitely doesn't cause them, and it is all done patient-by-patient, drug-by-drug. Good luck!

The latest bookbag find

{ Isaac made his own driver's license. And, credit card.

Psst... that says he is driving a camero.}

- - -

What can I say?

Isaac

(He hates his freckles - they sometimes make him cry.
I love them almost as much as I love him.)

Audrey

How did my baby get to be so big?

Ian
(aka ' I am almost 6 and I can do it myself! '

Miche Bag | April 2011 | Bundle **Special**

Calling all you BUNDLE lovers! My distributor is now offering a 4th bundled special, which will rotate every month!   For the CLASSIC SIZE carriers, April's is for YOU!

April 2011 is "3 Shell Bundle", which includes 3 Classic Standard Shells for $54.95.  Remember it is $5 more for each premium shell and $10 more for each Luxe shell.  This bundle will run 4/1 - 4/30/11

To order, you can go to www.mymiche.com/anne_white.com, beginning April 1, 2011 to take advantage of this special!

Dear Matt

If I had one of these...

... you would be able to see that these are the deer that Rico and I
had a stand off with yesterday on our walk. 



... but, I don't have an iPhone...

Matt, 1998 called, and they would like their phone back.

I promised it would be in the mail right after Mother's Day.

They understood that since I gave birth

to human beings that you also call your own

- yet... would never have been able to birth without me -

that yes, I should have an iPhone for Mother's Day.

The best personal weight loss plan

Hahaha... I love using titles like that, and if you know anything about search engine optimization, you know why. Psych! If you are looking for sound weight loss advice, you may want to consider some other options. Because... come on readers, say it with me... "Anne White knows a lot about nothing."

If you remember, Matt and I are competing to see who will look better in a bikini by the time bikini season is here (I guess I decide when that is because [hopefully] I will be the only one IN a bikini). 

The real title of this post should be, "I fell prey to the ad"... yep, I did.

I saw an ad for a supplement power/drink called Almased.   It is basically like any other protein drink (with very little or no carbs)... it puts your body into ketosis, causes your body to lose much water, you look leaner (because you are dehydrated), and your body eventually begins to use the fat in your body as fuel (versus using carbs). It is pretty much the same thing that happens w/ the Atkins Diet... or untreated diabetes.

If I was still an MS, RD, LD, my cards would be REVOKED. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Doods, if I had the cash, I would have by butt cut off, too.

Yesterday was it. According to the packaging, one is supposed to drink an Almased shake for breakfast and dinner, with a meal in between. I tried it.

Here is the gist of it... ALMASED IS THE WORST TASTING ANYTHING ON THIS PLANET. So much so, that as I successfully downed it two times yesterday, I told myself I could realistically eat anything... even bazillion legged millipedes. Survivor, here I come! (Psst... if that ever happens, remind me to take my Outdoor Living Shoes with me.)

Yesterday, I had:

• Almased shake (with water to mix)
• Spinach salad with every veggie you can think of piled on.
• Almased shake (this time with milk and strawberries blended in - tasted worse. Blech)
• Vegetable broth
• Cottage cheese w/ grapes
• 400 gallons of water

I also walked just over 2 miles.

By the time 3:00pm rolled around yesterday, my head hurt like a son of a you-know-what. I was dizzy. The light hurt my eyes. Bad shape. Not as mean as I thought I would be though.

But, the HUGE accomplishment of the day was no popcorn and no beer before bed. In fact, I had nothing after 6:00pm or so. (A big thanks to my BFF, Colleen, who decided to text me a picture of her and her Coors Light can last night. Not phased, I tell you.)

I woke up today feeling ffffiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnneeeeee.

I could not bring myself to drink Almased this morning. I was warned. I read the reviews. I didn't think anything could taste THAT bad. Well, it does. There has to be something people drink it with to make it better. Or it wouldn't be selling (and it seems to be).

SlimFat (aka Matt) let me borrow a SlimFast shake for breakfast. Yum. It was seriously like the best thing I have ever drank (next to my Coors Light, of course). And, for lunch, I had the most delicious spinach, mozarella, tomato, walnut, & vinegarette salad. Sweet lady I work with then brought me a delish whey protein shake. Yum. (No lie.)

No headaches. No tiredness. I didn't even need the veggie broth. I am a machine. (Makes me giggle every time I say it.)

Who knows what dinner may hold for me... I know it will include spinach because we have a boat load of it at home... with possibly some peppered pork loin and goat cheese on top?

So, who needs a canister of Almased? It is like powdered gold.

- - -

(Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny is over, but TopMommyBlogs.com will never end! You can vote every day, and every day, I will remind you. Just do it... you will make me feel so much better about myself... mwah!!!)

New to my Google Reader

And you should add them to yours.

I just ran across these two blogs this weekend. One I already shared with you at some point over the past couple of days, but I will do it again, because as we all know, it takes you three times for me to say something for you to do something about it.

I found this one when I was on the Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny... what is that you say? Hahaha... you know what it is, silly. Now, take a sec and click the badge to the left of this post, and vote for me today.

Then, check out Kristen's blog, whose life is threaded with those in Haiti:

Rage Against the Minivan

When you have Google Reader, Google will give you suggestions of blogs based on the others in your reader. I obviously got this suggestion because of my subscription to Kristen's... it is the blog of an American family in Haiti who are doing amazing things.

the Livesay [Haiti] weblog

Both of their stories and blogs are fascinating (both include their own personal stores of the 2010 earthquake), and when I read them, I wonder if we - the Whites - are doing all we can.

We give money. We send gifts. We don't adopt children or open safe houses for at risk teen mothers.

But dang, these families have allowed their lives to be completely changed and morphed, not for themselves, but for others. Not to fulfill something inside of them, but out of pure selflessness.

A friend once said to me that he thought many of of us were meant to do our part through the giving of money. Some were given different talents and gifts to use - not that giving your money is a gift or talent - and maybe we aren't all designed to go and be with those we are giving our money to. I wonder if that is true, or if it is more of a way for us to stay detached from it all for our own mental and emotional well-being.

I am so digressing here from the simple promotion of some blogs I have fallen in love with... okay, so check them out. I know you will enjoy and hopefully will be inspired.

On the bookshelf

Everyone is always looking for the next good book to read. I have had some great reads lately, so while the streak is good, I thought I would share.

Reading now:

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, by Rebecca Skloot

Non-Fiction: Her name was Henrietta Lacks, but scientists know her as HeLa. She was a poor black tobacco farmer whose cells—taken without her knowledge in 1951—became one of the most important tools in medicine, vital for developing the polio vaccine, cloning, gene mapping, in vitro fertilization, and more. Henrietta’s cells have been bought and sold by the billions, yet she remains virtually unknown, and her family can’t afford health insurance.   [ Author's Website ]

Just Read:

Still Alice by Lisa Genova

Fiction: Alice Howland, happily married with three grown children and a house on the Cape, is a celebrated Harvard professor at the height of her career when she notices a forgetfulness creeping into her life. As confusion starts to cloud her thinking and her memory begins to fail her, she receives a devastating diagnosis: early onset Alzheimer's disease. Fiercely independent, Alice struggles to maintain her lifestyle and live in the moment, even as her sense of self is being stripped away. In turns heartbreaking, inspiring and terrifying, Still Alice captures in remarkable detail what's it's like to literally lose your mind... [ Author Website ]

Bikini ready - me or Matt?

Listen beotches, I am gonna tell you the way it is.

I am not feeling good about my uncovered, naked body  right now, at age whatever I am. I think I am 37 1/2. Or 38 1/2.

Regardless, the past few years have NOT been good to my body. And, no, of course, I have not been good to it. I friggin' LOVE the taste of an icy cold beer. And with beer, you must have popcorn. The whole bag. Sometimes  two. Every night since the age of 4 (I guess since my memory is not that good), I have had popcorn every single night.

Hungry? With a whole bag of popcorn, you must have one, two or three beers. 

Those are my eating vices. Popcorn. Beer.

I don't crave any other foods. In fact, most days, I make it to dinner, forgetting to have eaten lunch. Me and food just don't have a huge attachment. I could take it or leave it.  I know what is next for some of you --- well, THAT is why you have gained weight/fat, because you aren't eating. Negative. I have always been this way with food. Always. 

And, I may as well tell you here that by trade, I was a dietitian. MS, RD, LD were behind my name for a good many years. I paid for those letters with many dollars and brain cells. I know all there is to know about weight gain, weight loss. I know that all of the weight control crap in the health food stores are a bunch of bunk.

As a practicing dieitian, I loved to piss overweight people off by claiming my slender ways were due to proper eating, because, and to this day I swear it, other than popcorn and beer, I eat really, really well. (Thank you Mom for raising us in a house without junk. It paid off.)  But, I am at that point in my life that I still eat well, but time, kids, lack of exercise, beer & popcorn have caught up with me, and I am eating crow. 

Exercise. I loathe it. You may not, but I do. You may  hate it, as well, but you do it anyway. Hooray for you.  Give yourself a medal. You are my hero.

I prefer activity that is incorporated into my daily life. Lazy, I am not. I just HATE EXERCISE.  Tell me to go walk 5 miles, and THAT I would gladly do. Tell me to train for a 5K, and there is no way on God's green earth I would ever agree to such tomfoolery. Tell me to show up to the gym every morning at 6am before the day starts, and nope. That isn't happening either. It isn't a flaw a-hole... it is just that I may be different than you. Go figure. 

Okay, so Matt, after being heckled by our children this past week --- one of them said he looked like Santa Claus and another said he was flat out fat --- decided he needed to do something. 

I then suggested that we do a bit of a contest to see who... loses more weight? We don't have a scale. Threw that out last time Matt was feeling fat (and we ended up doing P90X that year). Looks better? I definitely has less work to do. ( :::snicker::: we see each other NAKED people!) But, competition is the only way Matt will also do something about his physique.  He, too, definitely doesn't have weight to lose, but he has much shaping up to do.

Let me just say that Matt eats horribly. And, it has nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with what his lovely wife provides him. God help us if he is the one that does the grocery shopping. Seriously. When I shop, our refrigerator is FULL of fruits and veggies. When he shops, our pantry is FILLED with crap. Thankfully, he no longer does the grocery shopping. Ey, ey, ey. 

Tomorrow is the day. We start the contest. 

We are taking different routes in our weight loss / firming up adventure, and there is no 'end', because we know  who will win. By the time I am ready to get in my bikini, game over.  I can either spend money on different bathing suits, again, or I can lose the yuck. 

Kids choose the winner. They have actually already decided the winner, but we will still play the game. Not because I want to, but because I have to.  

Matt went to the grocery store tonight to get some stuff we can only get at the local grocery (versus SuperWalmart, where I will be heading tomorrow. Geez. I may need to shop at the market/health food store from now on!).  

Anyhoo, this is what Matt came home with (do you spot the bowl of chocolate kisses to the right of his stash?). Makes me giggle. I reminded him that he could not eat the entire box of snack bars in one sitting.

 

I will blog about my 'journey', but I am not going to reveal my strategy, quite yet. 

Let's just say that the children have been forewarned that for the next seven days, Mom is gonna be a witch with a capital B. And, I will offer no apologies. No beer, no corn, and a lot of nothing else for the short term. 

Let your imagination run wild. My head hurts already just thinking about it. Seriously, I start to shake thinking of the possible hypoglycemia I may encounter. 

2 months. 2 months to get bikini ready. I better look gooooooood. 'Cause if I am going to be mean, I at least better look good.

Did you vote today? If not, it isn't too late!

You can also vote here! Why not... it is just one more click?!

Out of the mouth of {my} babe

You got that right, Ian.

While we are on the subject of Ian, today, Matt and I were walking through the neighborhood while he and Isaac rode their bikes. They had gotten up ahead of us and had stopped at the lake in our neighborhood.

Apparently, when the waters receded a couple of weeks ago, the fish were unable to make it back with the water... and there were quite a few fish that had their lives ended in the grass. Of course the boys stopped to poke and look at the dead fish. 

We got them moving on their way, and later in the walk, we were headed for the lake again. I yelled up to Ian, "Stay away from the fish this time."

He turned around and responded with his hands up in the air, palms up, "What? I wasn't going to stop at the fish!"

Of course, I said, "Well, you did LAST time."

Without missing a beat, he said, "I don't DO last times."

Isaac Shows Up Bieber

Remember the drama we had with the voice lesson teacher? Here is Isaac, doing his a capella of Baby, Baby, Baby by the Justin Bieber. Dang, this kid is cute!

You can CLICK HERE to vote for me at Top Mommy Blogs!  Thanks - mwah!

Sanity Prep for Election Season 2012

Most of the time, it is pretty awesome to be me. Other times, it just sucks.

My brain works like none other that I know, but that is just because you all don't purge your brain publicly like I do. I know you are out there, closet crazy brain. Just like me.

For some reason, over the past three years - yes, THREE years! - the issues of abortion and the death penalty have been internally driving me bonkers. It is an internal debate, and just so I can bring some clarity to it, I am going to put my thoughts and feelings into words, in this blog, pre-election season. Now. For sanity's sake.

I almost went crazy last election season for a variety of reasons... I will spare you the details... but seriously, at times, I thought I was losing my mind because of the evilness of the political process and really, the internal ugliness of people - white, yellow, black, Christian, Jew, Atheist, Muslim... me included... you get the point.

For background sake, I am morally conservative, yet politically liberal. I don't fit a political group, and even as a Christian, I find myself questioning mainstream Christianity often these days when things just don't feel right. It isn't that I want to be a nonconformist. I have just personally experienced one too many 'leaders' leading a certain direction, in the name of God, politically and/or religiously, for their own aspirations and gain. It is very transparent, sad and incredibly troubling. 

I am pro-life, anti-abortion. I am anti-death penalty. I have always been pro-life, as it refers to abortion. But, there was a time that I didn't really give much thought to the death penalty (I just assumed that it was the way to go), because it really wasn't something I would ever need to ponder. Or so I thought.

I do not know anyone on death row. But, my sisters do. Yes, both of them. It just happens to be the same man that they know. I don't need to get into the details, but when it becomes personal, you tend to think about something like the government taking the life of someone, even someone who has committed a heinous crime, a bit more. Yes, you think about it more emotionally, not unlike the way you would think of someone taking the life of an unborn child.

Here is where my head starts to swirl.

Raise your hand if you think abortion is murder.

Raise your hand if you believe in the death penalty (which, of course, can be the sentence for murder, especially if the accused is thought to possess the ability to kill again.)

In your perfect world, should all women who have had abortions, regardless of their reason(s), be sentenced to the death penalty? After all, if you are against abortion, you think abortion is murder. Right? Although I do not have any stats to support this theory, I doubt that there is something magical that happens once a woman has had an abortion once, which precludes her from having another...and another... and another... without a serious transformation of her heart.

I know it all comes down to legislation, but really? If abortion was illegal, would you support the death penalty for a woman that had an illegal abortion? What about your best friend who had an abortion? Or your daughter? After all, what is worse that taking the life of an unborn child? Certainly worse than the friend on death row, who was completely whacked out on drugs, and took the life of a store clerk he was robbing, when he was barely an adult... right? Wrong.

Phew. Okay. I am settling down. Breathing... breathing... am I completely confusing you? See, this is why I need to sort it in real life, because my brain goes a mile a millisecond with these issues.

In my mind, abortion and capital punishment both equal murder. I don't care who is President or which party has the political power. Strip it down, and it is very difficult for me to see the difference in the two.  

Instead of trying to fix it, we just get rid of it...?

" It " being the unborn human or the situation the unborn baby will create if born... or " it " being the troubled human who committed an awful crime(s).

We just get rid of them? Say whaaa?

Last election season when I was getting the crazies over the debates of abortion and capital punishment, a pastor at our church had told me to be careful, because there was biblical evidence that supported the death penalty. He is the theologian, not me; however, the evidence wasn't enough to convince me (not that he was trying to convince me... he was just giving me both sides of the coin). It all sounded smart, but it still didn't feel right right.

I know it cannot be as simple as this... or can it?... the mercy of Jesus, shown in the Bible over and over again to all makes and models of sinners, wasn't something that had to be earned - it was freely given by Jesus. Yes, while you could argue that capital punishment is a means to remove threats to our society, I am not really confident that is the road Jesus wants us to take ... versus, say, life in prison with the opportunity to rehab the body and mind, and transform the heart. 

I don't know much about anything, as I have said over and over again on this blog, but why is it that Jesus didn't and doesn't discriminate the outpouring of the gifts of mercy and grace, yet, we feel we have the right to?

As a Christian, I don't get it. And, I likely never will. But, there. It is on the internets now, and the brain is purged. I can now go walk my dog with a less clogged brain. 

Housekeeping items --- that's right --- time to VOTE (once a day)!  

And, here, too, once a day! I know, I am a pain in the butt... tell me something I don't know!

Goodbye Virginia

There was one last picture on my camera when we got back to Ohio a couple of days ago. It is the view as we turned a bend while at Shenandoah Crossing, heading toward the lodge to check out. In the background, you can see the Manor House on the resort property, along with the mountains.

Breathtaking view. It would be a great thing to wake up to that every morning.

Circle of Moms

Can you vote for me? Pretty please? Even if you don't think I am funny? Because I know I really am not, and I am okay with that. However, the exposure of being in the tops of this list, especially when I only have 2 friggin' days left of this contest, would be great! You can either vote once, or once a day. Suggest to all of your friends --- who knows? They may think I am at least funny looking... click badge to vote.

You never know what you may find when these lists of mom bloggers pops up --- > my favorite from this list is Rage Against the Minivan. How stinkin' cute is that family? And, their story is truly amazing and inspiring. Check it out, and vote for her, too!

Thanks for the love!  ((( hugs )))

Update: Okay, I lied. When you click the badge, you are not done. You then need to scroll down (likely aaaaaalllll the way to the bottom-ish) and click on the thumbs up sign to the right of my blog name.

April 2011 | Miche Bag | New Releases

It sometimes is as if Jenny, the designer at Miche, is reading my mind! I have been dreaming of a yellow big bag, and now I can get my hands on her!

Here they are ladies.... introducing the April 2011 Miche Bag new releases! Oh yea, and there are some pretty sweet accessories!  (Out with the brown soft clutch and in with black and pink one!)

These products will be available for order on April 1, 2011.

(Please make note: Miche Bag has announced that they will be raising prices, effective to customers on May 1, 2011. If you have been wanting to 1) schedule your own Miche home show or 2) have had your eye on some product but have been waiting for the 'right time', you may not want to wait much longer! Get the goods ASAP before the prices are raised!)

If you would like to place an order for any of the new shells/accessories or any of those currently available, you can do so by visiting my website at www.mymiche.com/anne_white. If you have any trouble doing so, please email me at anne.liasophia@gmail.com and I can place the order for you.

Thanks for stopping by! (Psst... don't forget to vote! Mwah!)

The Ride

Ashleigh and Isaac leading the pack.

Isaac and Roxy.

Yours truly and Charlotte.

Colleen and June.

Matt and Buddy.

Audrey and Ginger.

Luke and Honey.

Lake Izac in Gordonsville, VA