Special days.

Matt has started a tradition in our house that his Dad had with his own children -  "special days".

We have a weekly rotation of the family members, and the lucky individual of the week gets to spend Saturday doing something special with Matt. Special person's choice. BIG hit in our house.

This past Saturday was the "family special day", so against her will, Audrey was able to spend - gasp! - all day with us! The whole fam-damily.

Together, we watched the boys play tennis, we went bowling, and we dined.

Special day, indeed.

What you cannot see from these pictures is that those smiles on the kids' faces? Forced.

Me? Most annoying parent on the planet that should not even speak. And, the nerve of me to want to capture our special family day via a camera. Gawd. A N N O Y I N G

And, those cute boys? Disobedient little punks who cannot follow simple commands. Awww... look how big they have gotten! So sweet...

And, yep... that is pretty much how we have rolled for the past few weeks... special days and all...

My "special day" with Matt is supposed to be this weekend... it was be very special as I recuperate from having my umbilical hernia repaired (on Friday).

Actually, being left alone and not responsible for another living creature for at least a day is just the kind of "special" I need. Sort of giddy at the thought of it.

The tug

You know how when you read something, you feel like it was written for you?

Well, that just happened.

I clicked on my friend and neighbor's post at Five of My Own. { Click and come back. I shall wait. }

This paragraph jumped out at me from Lori's post:

And maybe that's the problem. Too many kids in need to see them as real...human...our own. Or perhaps the problem is too big to see how an one person can make a difference. 147 million? Best to keep an impersonal distance from such things.       

No, I am not thinking of adopting a child. Matt, you can pick your jaw up from the floor.

{ Poor Matt when it comes to this blog and my thoughts in writing. }

But this is exactly my own thought process when I think about taking action.  Lori got it spot on, I am not proud to say.

Whether it is promoting the sale of T-shirts through Ize-T.com to help send insecticide treated nets to malaria stricken countries... or going on a mission trip... or joining the cause to stop the sale of young girls that are younger than my own daughter in the United States...

...I get completely enveloped in the statistics, and I eventually get too overwhelmed to feel like there is anything one person can do... one family can do.

And, then, I think of someone like Lori (and, let's not forget her husband, Dart) at Five of My Own, who have three biological sons, two daughters (both were adopted into their family) and another adoptive child on the way.  Um, if my math is right... that is six children... because Lori & Dart have opened their hearts, selflessly. All of the other logistics fall into place.

They always do, don't they, if we are just willing to follow that 'tug'?

It is way too easy for us to always keep non-productive thoughts tucked in the back of our minds... "We don't have the time." or "We don't have the money." or "That's just not for me."

I also think of our friends, Staci and Phillip, who just mobilized an entire city to donate and send two semi-trucks full of goods to Tuscaloosa, Alabama for those residents that were left with nothing after tornados swept through their neighborhoods and businesses.  They, too, felt that 'tug' on a Sunday night and ran with it... and now, there are hundreds of families that will feel blessed to have some 'normalcy' restored in their broken lives. 

When I feel overwhelmed with the stats, I need to think of Lori & Dart, Staci and Phil... just normal folk following their hearts to do what they can to help... because what if they had been complacent to take action like I so often am?

There is always something I/we can do... if we just open our hearts... follow the tug... and let the logistics fall into place.

An oldie but a goodie { the 5 love languages }

A week or so ago, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with my own housekeeping duties.  Truth be told, I think I was just feeling the pressure of always doing for everyone else. 

My house is not filthy or unkept. I was just the one that was tired of constantly making it clean and kept.

When I came home from Memphis (I left for Memphis two days after my post when I declared my frazzledness with a filthy house), my family welcomed me home with a clean house.

I didn't care how the task was completed. I was just thrilled that the entire house was cleaned, and I didn't have to lift a finger.

You see, my love language is clearly 'acts of service'. I am not a lazy person. Quite the opposite, actually. It is virtually impossible for me to be lazy.  But, if you want to show me love, in the truest sense of the word, vacuum my floors. Clean my hardwoods. Replace my construction-grade master bathroom lights. I don't need poems, diamonds or hand-holding. I just want... need... you to do crap for me, even if you think it is ridiculous or a waste of time.

Okay, so what is all of this "love language" business?

With more than 30 years of experience as a marriage counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman, noticed a pattern: everyone he had ever counseled had a “love language,” a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. He also discovered that, for whatever reason, people are usually drawn to those who speak a different love language than their own.

According to Dr. Chapman, of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five key categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and comprehensive—everyone has a love language, and we all identify primarily with one of the five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. To learn more about each of the 5 love languages, click here.

I had read Dr. Chapman's book, The 5 Love Languages, many years ago and it was about 7 years into our marriage. Matt read it at the same time. We have been married for just over 15 years, and the concept of knowing and showing your spouse love through his/her love language was critical in getting our marriage back on course at that 7-year itch mark.

I already told you that my love language is 'acts of service'. I think I can attribute that to my childhood and upbringing. Again, don't confuse this with being lazy or being a spoiled brat growing up... but my Dad was a 'do-er'... he did everything.  He rarely hired someone to do something around the house, and even if he did, he was there, helping, learning, and contributing. If something needed fixed in the house, there was no delay in getting it taken care of. My Dad and Mom were true servants in my eyes. Hell no, my Dad didn't cook and clean or head to the grocery store unless it was a beer run, but he got things done. My Mom did all of the necessities, of course, as mothers do.  From a child's perspective, between my Mom and Dad's efforts, we were very well taken care of... and so was our home.

Matt, on the other hand, doesn't care what you DO for him... he cares about what you SAY... or what you don't. His love language is 'words of affirmation'.

Funny... because I am the one that needs to show him love through that language, huh? Um yeah, and we know how I am with holding my tongue or showing love through my words. My tongue is my biggest fault. Yet, I am married to someone who needs it to be my best trait.

For both of us, regardless of how much we love one another, it is very difficult. I believe, for Matt, it is much easier. For me, it is so, so, so hard.

I didn't grow up in a home where we showed love with words. Pfft. Like ever. It would have been great, but personally, I didn't need them to know I was loved. That is not to say that my three siblings didn't need those words of affirmation... it is likely at least one of them did and that is why they are so jacked today (hahaha... just kidding... we are one of the most 'normal' families I know... hahaha).

But, Matt... He grew up with words, and words, and more words of affirmation. Over the top words of affirmation. Still, to this day, his Mom and Dad shower him and his brothers with words of affirmation. But often times, STILL, the concept is so foreign to me.

In my mind, I think... "Why would I tell you this or that or how great you are... when... not to be rude or anything... but you ain't all you think you are?" or "I love you, and you are all sorts of awesome, but... but... so are lots of others..." 

I am truly not a bitch. That is just the way I think.

Yet... yet!... I have learned to genuinely praise Matt when he does something as simple as filling up the gas tank in the van... or without fail, having a delish hot cup of coffee waiting for me as I rise in the morning... or for emptying the dishwasher... or folding the laundry. They aren't things I should have to praise him for (except for the coffee gig... since he doesn't drink coffee), but I know that recognizing those acts of love through words are important to him. So I say them. And, because I love him, I mean them. And let's not forget, because he loves me, he does the acts of service in the first place.

All of this to say, figure out your love language... and the love language of your spouse or your significant other... AND your children. Read the book. Figure out a productive way to communicate that love language to your spouse or significant other... and how to show your love through THEIR love language(s), not yours.

THAT is key.

It will, no doubt, change your relationships.

Down, but not out

They almost did me in. But, I already miss them.  It is really good to be home. Missing them.

Pinball

This weekend, Audrey is at a retreat with her youth group from church. Matt, Isaac and Ian are all together at Spring Camp with Indian Guides.

And, as any good mother (or aunt) would do during her Mother's Day weekend alone, I am in Memphis, as the Big Muddy is flooding the city, watching Lucy and Griffin, my niece and nephew. My sister, Cathy, and her husband, Aaron, are on their way to Atlanta for a weekend away. Awwwww.... how sweet.

I have obviously forgotten what it is like to have two kids under the age of 5. Whoa, bessy. 'Zausted.

Cathy and Aaron have been gone for about two and a half hours. Check this out. TWO AND A HALF HOURS.

We swang in the backyard. (Griffin)

We shared flowers with me. (Lucy)

Lucy and her favorite Aunt. Pretty sure I will lose that title after this weekend.

We played with the hose.

We had an 'underwear on our head' party.

We Oooo'ed-and-Ahhhh'd over Lucy's Perfect Attendance trophy from gymnastics. Go Lucy!

Um, we ate lots of cucumbers, even though Mom said we don't like them.
Oh, the get up? Well, HIS bathing suit doesn't fit him. Geez.

Before this, we had dinner, and Lucy almost vomited from gagging on the spaghetti sauce. I swear, all I did was open the jar that Cathy told me to.

Lots and lots of sprinkler fun in our pretty suits.

I threw the ball with Lefty, who is SO not right that they called him Lefty.
All sorts of bad, this dog is.

We sat in 'Time Out' for spitting in Griffin's face repeatedly.

We watched Lefty do this over and over again... which led to this...

It was about here that I made the executive decision to not give the kids a bath because I had to give the dumb dog one. My weekend, my rules.

And now, the sweet angels are doing this. Watching Bambi,
the viewing of which was 'won' by Griffin.

- - -

So, give me a pat on the back by voting... eh? I don't like sitting at  #13. Really.

Sending Love to Alabama

With the news of the Royal Wedding, a scrubbed space shuttle light, and, then, yesterday's report of bin Laden being killed, we still need to focus on Alabama and the recent weather that has reaked havoc on the state.

Image from HuffingtonPost.com

Big, huge kudos to our friends, Staci, Phillip, Jen and Josh for mobilizing assistance from Ohio to Alabama.  Keep on reading to see what they are doing and how you can help!

Image from HuffingtonPost.com

If you are in Northeast Ohio, bring your gently used furniture, toys, electronic, clothes, etc. along with canned goods, bottled water, and other non-perishable items to 1000 Campus Dr. Stow, OH 44224 on Saturday, May 7, 2011 from 10:00am-2:00pm.

The items will be taken to a Red Cross storage unit  in Tuscaloosa, Alabama NEXT WEEK.

Image from HuffingtonPost.com

Our family was actually getting ready to sell everything we had stored away in our basement next weekend during our neighborhood garage sale. We think it would be more loved in Alabama.

Two hundred miles of families left with absolutely nothing leaves one a little speechless.

Image from HuffingtonPost.com

If you are in Northeast Ohio, don't forget to bring your goods THIS SATURDAY! Whether you are in NE Ohio or just know people in NE Ohio that would be able to help, be sure to click the Facebook 'SHARE' button near the title of this post to post on your Facebook wall!

- - -

 



Butt crack{ed}

Happy birthday to my Isaac! We have been celebrating him all day long today, and he is loving every minute of it!

One important thing that I forgot to mention in the story of Isaac's grand entrance into the world was that he broke my coccyx, or better known as my tailbone, on the way out with his big ol' noggin'. (I like saying the word 'coccyx'. Coccyx. Coccyx. Coccyx.)  The six months that followed were incredibly painful. And, I will never let him forget it.

I hope you are enjoying your weekend!

- - -

 

I am at #42 today - moving on up! Keep the votes coming! I will eventually stop pestering you. Maybe.

Validating his coolness

Do you remember the red shoes that Matt bought?

He would like you to know that Will.I.Am wore them on American Idol this past Thursday. (My apologies if you actually watch this. I don't really get what was going on... but do not put Jamie Foxx with Will.I.Am ever again.)

If that isn't enough for you to validate my husband's coolness, Jack Black also wore them last night on Nickelodeon's Kids' Choice Awards.

However, Jack Black also wore this last night on the show.

Enough said. Except don't forget to vote!

New to my Google Reader

And you should add them to yours.

I just ran across these two blogs this weekend. One I already shared with you at some point over the past couple of days, but I will do it again, because as we all know, it takes you three times for me to say something for you to do something about it.

I found this one when I was on the Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny... what is that you say? Hahaha... you know what it is, silly. Now, take a sec and click the badge to the left of this post, and vote for me today.

Then, check out Kristen's blog, whose life is threaded with those in Haiti:

Rage Against the Minivan

When you have Google Reader, Google will give you suggestions of blogs based on the others in your reader. I obviously got this suggestion because of my subscription to Kristen's... it is the blog of an American family in Haiti who are doing amazing things.

the Livesay [Haiti] weblog

Both of their stories and blogs are fascinating (both include their own personal stores of the 2010 earthquake), and when I read them, I wonder if we - the Whites - are doing all we can.

We give money. We send gifts. We don't adopt children or open safe houses for at risk teen mothers.

But dang, these families have allowed their lives to be completely changed and morphed, not for themselves, but for others. Not to fulfill something inside of them, but out of pure selflessness.

A friend once said to me that he thought many of of us were meant to do our part through the giving of money. Some were given different talents and gifts to use - not that giving your money is a gift or talent - and maybe we aren't all designed to go and be with those we are giving our money to. I wonder if that is true, or if it is more of a way for us to stay detached from it all for our own mental and emotional well-being.

I am so digressing here from the simple promotion of some blogs I have fallen in love with... okay, so check them out. I know you will enjoy and hopefully will be inspired.

My husband's crazy purchases

As I run across them, I am going to take pictures and post the crazy things my darling husband, Matt, has been purchasing lately.  I am relatively certain that Matt, too, is having somewhat of a mid-life crisis.

Without further ado... these came in the mail today:

He has been shopping at JackThreads.com... and when he refers people, he gets credits. He buys more crazy shoes or shirts, refers more people, and gets more credits.

If you see an almost middle-aged, hot, bald, Eminem-Usher mash up dude in Northeast Ohio driving a Mercedes, it is likely my husband. He is taken.

Thanks for stopping by! By the way, have you been voting lately? Brown box up there... click it... and you have voted! Mwah!

Biggest Miche Bag Party @ KSU

My friend, Nicole, and her friend (my new friend), Pam, have their own personal unique experiences with breast cancer. They will be walking in the Susan G. Komen 3-Day at the end of July this summer.

Nicole and Pam had contacted me a couple of weeks ago to ask if we could do the BIGGEST Miche Bag Party, as a fundraiser for the event. Um, heck yes! I am more than happy to do something towards this particular cause, and you don't have to twist my arm much to get me on campus at Kent State University.

Nicole and Pam both work at KSU, so today we met for lunch to discuss the plans for the Biggest Miche Bag Party! H to the O to the L-L-A.  

If you know me at all, you know that I would, of course, have my camera with me for a trip to KSU, which is only 10 minutes from home.  It wouldn't take much for me to go back there day after day.

Ok, back to the event! It will be held in the KSU Student Center on Wednesday, April 13, 2011. I will reveal more of the details as we have them finalized, but if you are a Miche Gal, and you plan on placing an order anytime this spring, please consider doing so on (or around) our event.

If you won't be near Kent State on April 13, you could always email me your orders to go towards this fundraiser.

All orders will qualify for the drawing for a Miche base bag, along with at least one HOPE shell.

Don't want to purchase Miche? Then, please consider donating towards my friends' team.

Keep checking back for more details on this event!  Thanks for stopping by!

2/22/2011 Update: Date change. I don't have new date yet, but will shoot that out when I know.

my boy

I am a Gleek. I admit it. Heck, I am proud of it. And today, I watched another episode (the one that aired after the Super Bowl) that reminded me of why I buy into the show, and why I would be okay with my children watching it... if it weren't for the sexual innuendos that are not entirely appropriate for those under the age of sixteen.

Can you imagine growing up, being in high school, and someone actually encouraging you to be who you are instead of who the world thinks you should be? Can you imagine being a football player, and being not only accepted, but encouraged, to be in the Glee Club? Or being a gay teenage boy in Glee Club, and not tormented by the football team?

If there is one child of mine that I worry about the most, it is Isaac (age 8, third grade).

Isaac never has been an athlete. He has always been incredibly artistic and creative. Isaac is all boy, but not your typical boy.

Isaac loves to sing and write his own songs. He loves to listen to music and draw. He loves to check out fashion and hair styles. He, himself, loves his hair long and wears a fedora when appropriate. He owns quite a few fedoras, in fact. Isaac wears Converse, not Adidas or Nike. He has at least five pairs of sunglasses. He has a major crush on Katy Perry (who doesn't?).

He doesn't like to wrestle around, he despises any physical activity that requires contact, and he is the kind of kid that is brought to tears when physically hurt, instead of sucking it up. He tends to stick close to the girls and other non-athletes at recess so there could be no chance of injury.

Isaac is the sensitive one. The one who puts thought into every thing he does for someone else. This year, he hand made every Valentine card for his classmates. Isaac makes all of his Christmas gifts. He loves to play school and imitate his teachers.  He is a monkey-see, monkey-do kind of kid.

And who knows? Isaac, one day, may be in the Show Choir.

While the world may not accept that Isaac is not your typical boy, we sure do! Why would we ever... ever... want Isaac to be anything other than who God created him to be?

Easier said than done, right?

As parents, we have a vision of what our children will be like and what their interests will be as they go from infant to toddler to adolescent to teenager to adult. Unfortunately, as parents, we have very litttle control over this aspect of our children's lives.

Interesting, huh?

Who they are and what makes them... well... THEM - the core of their very being - is completely out of our control. We can force our children to do this or do that, to wear a certain type of clothing, to talk and walk a certain way... but in the end, the gifts that they have been given - and the personality and traits that define who they are - are completely out of our control.  

So, with Isaac, what is it that I worry about? Of course, I worry that his personality one day won't be accepted in the crowd he chooses or wants to hang with. Or, that maybe he will be rejected because his gifts and personality definitely do not align with what is seen as the norm, as far as 'boys' go.

I pray that Isaac will be strong enough to deal with any situation that comes his way (so far, so good), but my heart breaks for all of those teenagers who aren't... and he could be one of those kids one day. 

However, I also am confident that one day, someone will be enamored with Isaac's sensitivity, thoughtfulness and creativity (who am I kidding... the ladies are lining up already).  I look forward to seeing how Isaac is able to experience the world because of who he is, and I cannot imagine how he will impact his world with his gifts and talents. 

Let's Take a Journey

Then... 

December 29, 1995



December 30, 1995



 Since then...

• Two states.
• Four cities.
• Two apartments, three houses.
• Three dogs.
• Three children.
• Loss of one parent.
• Loss of five grandparents.
• Eight jobs for Matt.
• Four jobs for me. 
• Four churches.
• 57 cell phones (I really have no clue but it seems accurate)
• Six businesses between us (I am sure I am forgetting a few)
• A book.
• Ten cars.
• 25 different colors of hair.
• Long hair. Short hair. Shorter hair. No hair.
• and L. to the O.V.E. Marital bliss.

Now...

Happy Anniversary to us!