30 Days of Truth {fail}

:::crickets:::crickets:::crickets:::

I've got nothing new to talk about with the 30 Days of Truth. Bored with it, no surprise. And, just like that :::snap!::: I can make it go away.

:::crickets:::crickets:::crickets:::

30 Days of Truth { Day 18 } Your views on gay marriage.

I am sure this topic has my readers cringing... and for all sorts of different reasons. Some hope I won't embarrass them, some hope I won't be too "religious", and some will hope that my beliefs line up exactly with theirs because that is what I am 'supposed' to do. 

I spent much time writing and editing a lengthy post outlining my views on this issue. But in the end, with this day of the 30 Days of Truth Challenge, I can sum it all up with two sentences.

In my heart, I believe marriage was designed to be between a man and a woman. My head has a tendency to question that belief.

(And my husband is a much happier man now that I didn't spew about the rationale for what I just said. There was a great possibility of things getting very heated between me and you, the reader.)

Don't forget to vote for me today and every day! Make it your New Year's resolution! Brown bar. Up top. Gracias!

30 days of truth { Day 19 } What do you think about religion? Or what do you think of politics?

I am going to tell you what I presently think about BOTH religion and politics!  Aren't YOU lucky?! ( And, I am very lucky to have you, my patient reader.)

Religion. I have many, many thoughts, although I will try to only pick a few, and I do not wish to offend anyone or anyone's beliefs in this post. I am very thankful for the 'religious' leaders in my family's life (founding pastor, lead pastor and youth pastors at our church) who not only talk the talk, but walk the walk, and humbly, I might add.

My thoughts on religion also are a result of my Christian experience, as I have not practiced any other 'religion'. I am OBVIOUSLY not a theologian, however, please don't label my thoughts/opinions as immature or naive because of my lesser religious pedigree. They are well thought out, although they may differ from yours.

• I believe in the Bible and in Biblical truth. I am aware of the countless and immeasurable hours that man has spent studying the Bible to determine its truth. However, I also believe that some religious leaders distort that truth to meet their own goals and intentions in the name of God. The secular world is guilty of Biblical distortion to meet its needs, as well. In this world, in this life, does it all come down to interpretation? It is a question I have been asking often lately.
• Religion, and its denominations, are man made. So is the 'Christian worldview' of many topics, issues and positions. As with any man made system, religion involves a hierarchy of status... the haves and the have-nots... the worthy and the unworthy... the bad and the good.
• To my point above, there are 'essentials' and 'nonessentials' when it comes to the Bible. Often times, through religion, we focus too much on the nonessentials because it makes us feel superior to others through our beliefs and actions or we feel it will assist us in 'earning' something. 
• Organized religion is a business, and while even the best spiritual leader has the goal of personal eternal salvation (i.e. heaven) at the forefront of his/her mind, there is always a business to be dealt with soon thereafter. With business, comes politics.
• We all believe in our own "truth". And, I have said to myself numerous times... "What if...?" I guess that is where faith comes in.

Politics.

• For some, even the religiously devout, politics is their religion. They put more faith in the government than their own God. I don't get that, but whatever.
• For many, politics or political affiliation has more to do with their 'religion' or upbringing than what they truly believe. They hear what others around them have to say and attach to those beliefs instead of claiming their own.
• I do believe we can learn from one another's political opinions and through those, our beliefs may change. I wish we would do that more and dig our heels in less.
• While I truly believe that most politicians who devote their lives to this vocation wake up every morning with the intention of making a difference in others' lives, they are in it for themselves. We all are just 'in it' for ourselves, after all.
• I don't believe anyone in politics has 'the answer'. If they did, we wouldn't constantly be in a mess. We all think we are right. Hence, the game of politics.
• It surprises me that more folks aren't moderate in their political beliefs. Or maybe they are, and we just can't hear them over the left and the right.
• Personally, I would like the option to vote for Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert or Garth Brooks. The three of them seem to have more sense than both major political parties combined.  

Okay, I am done. Thanks for stopping by, and don't forget to vote (above... brown bar...gracias!)

30 Days of Truth {Day 14} A hero that has let you down.

And... here I am again, writing for this challenge. This is only my ninth one out of thirty! Painful. Make note to self never to do this again. Dudes, I am just not that complex, and I don't even think I can answer the majority of what is left!

Today, with day number 14's challenge, I am supposed to write a letter to a hero that has let me down. First of all, I don't write letters... to anyone... since 1995. Secondly, I don't have any heroes. Never have. Is that weird? Seems like one should have a hero or two.

Here are some definitions of the word 'hero' from http://www.dictionary.com/:

1. a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.
2. a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal: He was a local hero when he saved the drowning child.
3. the principal male character in a story, play, film, etc.
4. Classical Mythology .
    a. a being of godlike prowess and beneficence who often came to be honored as a divinity.
    b. (in the Homeric period) a warrior-chieftain of special strength, courage, or ability.
    c. (in later antiquity) an immortal being; demigod.

I left out the ones dealing with sandwiches. It is quite possible that a hero sandwich has let me down a time or two.

I know of many, many people in my every day life that meet the qualities in #1 in the above; but, I don't know if I would ever classify them as 'heroes'. If I did, heroes are just people. And people - all people - let other people down on a relatively consistent basis. Those who are noble and brave fail, just like those who are afraid or cowardly. We all suck when it comes right down to it.

So, my readers, since I have made it all 38 years without having a true hero, or having said hero let me down,  I shall throw this one back at YOU!

Who is your hero and, if you care to share, did he/she ever let you down? It is your time to spill it in the "Comments" section below. You can be truly anonymous. Or not. Just share!

If you can, please click on that brown bar up above to VOTE-VOTE-VOTE for my blog! I hover between #5-6 in the category of "Everything Else"... and in the 70's for the entire blog list, which is not so bad when you consider there are a thousand-plus blogs on topmommyblogs.com. However, I would like to be in the top 25, so I NEED YOUR VOTES! Consider it your Christmas gift to me. Gracias!

Thirty Days of Truth { Day 28 } What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Well, I cannot get someone pregnant. However, if I were pregnant, I, no doubt, would do the following:

1. Take another pregnancy test. Or maybe four, just to be sure.
2. Cry. Hard. Really hard. Like so hard that I would become dehydrated.
3. Visit the urologist's office that performed Matt's vasectomy with a very scary look in my eyes, and while no threats would be made, they would never, ever forget me.
4. Have a drink, just for old times sake? Yea, I might.

Once the shock and fear subsided, I would, of course, become overwhelmed with maternal love.

Be sure to vote-vote-vote everytime you visit this most awesome blog of mine! How, you ask? Click the brown bar above. Thanks!

30 Days of Truth {Day 3} Something you have to forgive yourself for.

This little challenge from Courtney over at Live Beautiful is getting more difficult. Click the "30 Days of Truth" tab above to check out what I have revealed so far.

On to... something I have to forgive myself for.

My Dad passed away when I was 26 years old and about 7 1/2 months pregnant with Audrey, our oldest, who is now twelve. At the time my Dad died, Matt and I lived in South Carolina, with my Dad and Mom in Ohio.  We would travel back and forth as many weekends as we could, and I saw my Dad for the last time a week before he died.

Looking back, I don't feel like I said enough to him before he died. I wish I had that time back, and I think about it often. I can't even think of anything specific I would have said... I just don't feel the 'closure'... maybe you never do when you lose a parent... I don't know.

I honestly think, in my immaturity at that age, I was more concerned about looking 'strong' for my Dad during his illness... and I didn't want my sadness to bring him any additional emotions, as he was looking death head on. I don't think I could have said all of the things I should have said without completely losing it. Instead, I just tried to 'nurse' him the best I could and he would allow.

I also don't think that at that stage of life (pre-children) that I could fully understand the love between a parent and a child. I know that sounds silly because at that age, who would not understand that... especially for a family as close as mine...? But I hadn't quite reached that stage where you realize how much you appreciate your parents, their unconditional love for you, or how much they have molded who you are.

I am sure the feeling to have the need to 'forgive myself' for not saying enough to Dad before he died also has to do with how much I wish he was here now to see my kids (and my nieces and nephews) and what awesome little people they have become. There is so much that I want him to be a part of now.

Okay, that's enough... or I will start to cry (more)... I actually had to write this while my Mom is at my sister's house in Memphis all of this week... in the hopes that she wouldn't read it...

30 Days of Truth {Day 10} Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Some may think this sounds arrogant, and you can call it what you will... but I cannot answer this one with an actual person, because I have learned the art of filtering my relationships as I have aged.

I wish it hadn't taken me so long to realize that in relationships and friendships, you have choices. While the relationships I have with others should not be all about me, I have the freedom - and so do you - to only allow healthy relationships in to my life. If you are not good for me (or my family) or if I am not good for you, it ain't happening.

Because of the degree that my friendships/relationships built or tore down my self esteem and confidence growing up, I have already tried to encourage Audrey (age 12) to realize that there are some 'friends' in her life that are good for her and those who are not so good, which is so incredibly difficult when you aren't quite a teenager. I know it seems harsh, because kids are kids, and girls are girls and all around, they can just be mean... but I don't want anyone in my child's life that will negatively impact her self image.

Relationships matter, and they certainly aren't always easy. But, working through the difficult times with a true friend is different than tolerating the shenanigans or trying to correct the abuse in an unhealthy relationship. Sometimes, you just need to break ties to cut your losses.

{ Now there are plenty of people I wish I didn't know... because that would have meant less aggravation, fear, pain, anger, and all of those other negative emotions that involve knowing people. But, I don't think that is something that is healthy to expound upon. }

30 days of truth { Day 11 } Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Nope. It isn't my kids. Or my unwaivering faith in the good Lord. Not my good cooking, my good looks that rival Heidi Klum, or my intellect.

It is my clean house. Which isn't really all that clean.

I don't really have much more to say about that.

Thirty Days of Truth { Day 5 } Something you hope to do in your life.

I do not have a 'bucket list' of things I would like to do before I die, which seems odd to me, because of my incessant need to plan, organize and make lists. Maybe it is just that I have low expectations of life experiences (not a low expectation of life) or is it that I find the joy in the mundane? Or maybe I am just lazy? Hmmmm... ponder that for a while...

Like every one else in the world, I would like to have made an impact on someone's life. I would like to be remembered... to have a wonderful legacy... raise my  children to be responsible, law abiding and independent adults who impact their own world... etc., etc., etc. Outside of those important things, here are some less important things I would like to do, in no particular order:

• Meet Michelle and Barack Obama. Regardless of your political beliefs, the couple has made history and are impacting the world around them - near and far.
• Live in a century home that has been completely renovated before my occupation of it.
• Live on a semi-working farm. Although, I don't expect to be the one semi-working it.
• Live in a warm climate 365 days a year that isn't Florida or Texas. It isn't the 'south' I crave. It is the warmth and sunshine.
• I would love to have an outside garden like the mom, Camille, on NBC's "Parenthood".
• Visit the Holy Land.
• Go on safari in Africa.

I suppose I could think of more if I tried, but at this point, I better start saving up and resting up! My newly created bucket list seems very expensive!

What do YOU hope to do in your life?

30 Days of Truth {Day 8} Someone who made your life hell or treated you like sh*t.

I am trying to get back on track with the 30 Days of Truth Challenge. I don't like it one bit. These are complex things that Courtney has challenged us to expound on, and I am just not all that complex.

I have chosen to write about someone who made my life hell, although it was only part of my life and it likely isn't too different from many of your experiences... as a pre-teen in junior high. I don't even know that I could really even pinpoint it to junior high or to one person. Truth be told, there were some real bitches in my pre-high school years, and all of the years just seem to run together. So do the 'mean girl' actions.

Back in the day, there was a group of girls that always hung around. A clique. Sometimes I would weave in and out of the group, but the ring leaders were relatively consistent. Yet, we all were still BFFs... with the meanness attached. Just stupid stuff, like 'soft' bullying, lying, excluding, but enough of it, for me to get my feelings hurt and question every little thing I did or said around 'them'. I would then feel this overwhelming guilt that my family had been dealt this 'loser' (me). Yet, I still was okay to continue to 'follow'... until I could break free from my small town by heading off to college.  

Dudes, I do believe I have just had me an epiphany!

I actually think that is why - whether you want to believe it or not - I am truly a social introvert, and I prefer keeping friends at a distance. Close friendships are not my forte.  It's just what I prefer for social survival, you know? Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me. WELL aware of my trust issues, people.

While I have my social relationships, I only NEED my true friends (and that includes family)... those who know me, and the ways I am completely different from them, yet they still love me. That actually may also be why I discern everything, and refuse to just follow the crowd on issues, stances or actions because it is the easiest thing to do. Doesn't make me a rebel. Just means I can think for myself, thank you.

It is such a shame that girls in particular, but boys too, attempt to hurt others emotionally and mentally because of their own insecurities and lack of confidence. Tear others down to build themselves up.  Who am I kidding?! Girls and boys???? Pfft!!  As adults, we are still doing it. Our kids see us do it, and then they do it. Stir, and repeat my childhood. THAT is why I try to stay out of the messiness.

Update: Did you last night's episode of "The Middle" (aired new November 17, 2010)? What a coincidence! Right on spot, too.

30 Days of Truth {Day 15} Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

This is so easy, it is just silly. Plus, I don't have the brain power to answer any of the other 'questions' in the 30 day challenge.

Way back, I had posted a blog about my 2009 New Year's Evaluation. In it, I said I was going to try to cut back on, and possibly eliminate, my paper towel usage.

Pffffttt...  

I use paper towel today more than I did in 2008. I don't know why! I tried. I really did.

Those "Ultimate Cloths" worked, and they did an awesome job for some cleaning jobs, but I don't like having yuk on my rags. I just like to dispose of dirt and yuk. Be gone!

Take away my aerosols, my chemical cleaning products, my cell phone and computer. But, the paper towels must stay. In bulk.

Cleanliness is next to godliness, they say.

Thirty Days of Truth { Day 2 } Something you love about yourself.

I am not sure there is something I love about myself (contrary to what my sisters may think). But, there is something I love which has contributed to who I am, and that is being a Mayle.

Mayle (pronounced Miley, like Miley Cyrus) is my maiden name. My Dad's and Grandfather's surname.  My daughter's middle name.

It is hard to describe what it is like to be a Mayle, because you don't really run across families like ours very often.

Mayle family reunions are 500+ people strong, and if one was held today, it would span four generations. Every Mayle is your cousin. Mayles are LOUD. Mayles are funny. Mayles aren't very sensitive folk on the outside, but have soft spots on the inside. Mayles are giving and caring.  Mayles are nosey! If you think they don't know, make no mistake about it - they do. Mayles are real and our relationships with each other tend to be a bit brash, but our love for one another is unconditional. Mayles thrive on fun. Mayles love beer. It is a requirement. Some of my best memories in my thirty-eight years include a Mayle. My childhood, and especially my summers, knowing I was a Mayle amongst Mayles, was very comforting.

I could go on and on... and, I don't want to brag... but BEING A MAYLE RULES! Just ask us.

30 Days of Truth {Day 1} Something you hate about yourself.

Wow. Nothing like starting this challenge on with something easy and positive.

Think. Think. Think.

It would be easy to say I hate my knees. My big nose. My freckles that multiple with age. The saggy skin on my gut. My short stature. My lack of athleticism. Blah, blah, blah. But that would be too trite and convenient.

Something I hate about myself. Hate is a very strong word, you know. But since I have to use it... here goes.

I hate that I have knee jerk reactions to things I disagree with or when I have been wronged, which often leads to me to using my mouth or my written words to let someone know how I feel.

I know my words can cut, and when I get in that 'zone', I can make them go deep without even thinking about it.

Kids, I have a bad temper. Yes, I do. Life is funny that way, because I really disliked my Dad's short fuse growing up, and, as an adult, I have suggested anger management CDs to a certain boss of mine.

Hmmmm... I shall work on it. Just don't piss me off. Haha... ha... ha... not joking. Ha.

30 Days of Truth - Challenge Accepted

What am I getting myself into?!?

Lately, I have been thinking much about how we try to project our identity, thanks to Don Miller and some others in my life. We, you and I, try to project the image of being a "good" Christian, an even-keeled spouse, a devoted parent, a caring friend, a successful businessman, a tolerant human being, the perfect multi-tasker... the list could go on and on.

We all do it. Unfortunately, at one point or another, we are all just posers. It hits me right in the gut every time I think of how hard we, you and I, try to be someone or something we really, truly aren't. And for what? For the benefit of others. For the acceptance of others. For the adoration of others. So we won't have to own up to the fact that we are 99.9% imperfect.  So we won't be judged.

I despise the fact that we judge each other.  I hate that I do it to you and everyone around you.  I hate that you do it to me... my husband... my kids... public schools... private schools... country club goers... our politicians... those who make minimum wage... those that buy designer clothes... celebrities... okay, I have to stop now... but you get my point... the list could go on and on. As you read this, you are judging me... and as I type this, I am judging you.

In case you didn't click on the link to Don Miller's blog, here is what I believe is the most powerful paragraph of his post:

" What’s sad about projecting an identity is our obsession with the process keeps us from discovering who we really are. We like certain things because we will be approved of if we do, not because something about how we were created responds to them. Who knows who I am, what I like, what moves me, because I have been too busy kissing up to ask myself those questions. Because I am busy projecting an identity, I am less moved by the beauty of a tree than I am by the latest fad of which I can associate my identity. If I were really cool, as we commonly define cool (a projection that we don’t care what other people think) I’d go about my day in coaches shorts I bought at Target, socks that don’t match, the most comfortable nurses shoes I could afford, and stand in parks laughing at how funny squirrels look when they crack nuts. Now that is freedom, both for our souls and for our family jewels, which are far more comfortable in coaches shorts. "

Today, I was perusing blogs like any typical day at the office, and ran across this very popular "assignment" in bloggeritaville. It is called 30 Days of Truth, and I found it at Live Beautiful.  Essentially, Courtney, the blogger, challenged others (along with herself) to write according to the topics below.

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like sh*t.
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

There are two reasons I was drawn to this idea. First, because sometimes it is difficult to be creative in your thinking while blogging, and essentially, your mind goes blank for days on end, and you have nothing to blog about. This is the perfect idea generator. Second, because as Don Miller stated, "Who knows who I am, what I like, what moves me, because I have been too busy kissing up to ask myself those questions."

I don't think these questions will necessarily 'define me', but they are great topics and will allow some blogger transparency... don't you think? They will expose much about me... and in these posts, I will try very hard to just be who I am.

And dang! Don't I wish these were not the questions that Courtney has put out there to be asking?! But she did, and I will answer them. Probably not in order. And definitely not in 30 consecutive days. I will likely make up my own rules as I go along. My blog. My rules.

Not sure when I will start since vacation is looming (2 days for those of you that are keeping track), but it will be soon. There is a new tab above, too. So you can go right to the nitty-gritty details if you so choose.

Wish me luck! I am soooooo gonna need it!